Confessions

I have found that since becoming a parent, there are many things I need to confess, and since I don’t make it to confession as often as I should often (I have been tardy for the last 10 years), I will just confess now:

We'll start off with an easy one:

1. I steal my child’s candy (and eat it when he isn't looking- that way I don’t have to share or give him the blue flavored tootsie rolls that we both enjoy).

Now the real shame starts:

2. I often lie to my child when he requests to watch Barney and tell him that it isn't on.  (What other option do I have?  He usually asks when I am watching the Real Housewives.  I think I have at least 1 more year until he learns how to use the remote better than me, so I have to utilize this time now.)

3. Most parents try to instill independence in their children by letting them pick out their own clothes.  Not me.  If my child picks out mismatched clothes, I often lie to tell him that the clothes are too small and pretend to throw them in the garbage.  I do feel like it’s not totally sin.  After all, I am trying to prevent him from being a social outcast.  That sounds more like a saint than a sinner to me. For the love of God child, stripes and plaid do not go together…ever!

4. Most parents take pride in their child’s athletic abilities.  But not me; I have a feeling I am stunting his athletic abilities instead of encouraging them.  Every time I see my child trying to scale the walls of his crib, I give him a little nudge from behind and he lands back on the mattress, wondering what the heck happened.  Then I proceed to blame it on the crib.  I tell him the crib pushed him down so he should never try to climb out again.  (I mainly do this because his crib matches the rest of his furniture quite nicely and I don’t want to go through the hassle of picking out a toddler bed).    

Now I must repent (on the couch with a glass of boxed wine and a family size bag of Cheetos).