I Swore I Would, I Swore I Wouldn't..

Over the years I have observed many parents, parenting around me.  From these observations, I created a mental list of things I swore I would do as a parent and things I swore I wouldn't do…

I swore I would:

Read to my child everyday and I am proud to say I am exceeding in this goal (Well, I am counting reading the TV guide channel out loud to my child.  How else is he going to know that Dora the Explorer and Sophia the First are his television options at 7 am?  Please note:  I offer my child shows that have a strong female main character to subliminally ingrained in him that women are in charge- otherwise I will be overrun by testosterone in my own home.)

I swore I would never….

Let my child watch Spongbob Square Pants.  I mean seriously, how many episodes will it take for Spongebob to realize he is a kitchen sponge and not a sea sponge? 

I have failed at this goal miserably.  My child has fallen head over heals in love with the porous character.  He will stand in front of the television sporting his over sized Spongebob T-shirt (that he insisted he needed from Shopko because he was sitting, “like a bog boy” in the cart- and who was I to argue- he had a point- he wasn't pulling items out of the cart one by one and chucking them onto the floor and he wasn't trying to scale the cart walls like a spider-monkey.) and his Spongebob crocs for an entire, grueling, episode. 

So I figured, if you can’t beat him, give up.  I guess there are some good qualities to Spongebob; Chase learns about the deep blue sea from the show. So ultimately, I guess, I would be a terrible parent if I withheld that education from him- right?- who knows, maybe one day he will want to be a deep sea diver or a shrimp fisherman. (Did I convince you? Because I’m not quite sure I convinced myself.)

I swore I would….

Offer my child a fruit or vegetable at every meal to encourage my child to have a healthy diet.  I have accomplished this goal with flying colors.  (Well, I am including candy orange slices and popcorn- those count right?)

I swore I would never…

Let my child have a DVD player in the car.  I used to peer into the windows of minivans as they passed me on the streets and swear to myself that my child would never have a DVD player in the car; my child could spend his time looking at books quietly as we drove off into the sunset (or towards Dairy Queen). 

As it turns out, books can cause serious injuries when they are unexpectedly hurled at your head from the backseat.  The DVD players were installed after one grueling, and bloody, book incident.  To all of the minivan mother’s out there- I apologize for my previous judgment.   

You win some, you lose some, and sometimes you just shake your head and walk away.