Anyone who has ever been around a toddler knows that toddlers can be a little "self-involved" and feel like everyone is doing them wrong. I don’t understand why toddlers sometimes morph into teenage girls going through puberty, but who am I to debate evolution.
Well the other day, Chase was pissed at someone- but he didn't know who- so I told him.
One morning Chase and I were sitting on the couch watching a never ending episode of Mickey-Mouse Clubhouse along with his beloved blankie (which is pink and purple and another story in itself), Fruit Loops (In an orange bowl, not a blue bowl. I had to learn that the hard way), and a sippy cup full of milk.
We were going about our business as normal when all of a sudden, out of nowhere Chase let out an obnoxiously, animated sneezed. He sneezed so hard his head flew forward and his lap looked like a soggy, chewed up rainbow.
Chase looked down at his lap and appeared to be horrified. He then raised his little noggin up at me and growled in disgust, “Hey- somebody spit on me!”
For the rest of the morning he demanded to know who the villain was who randomly spit Fruit Loops all over his lap. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he actually violated himself. So, I did what every good parent would do- I blamed it on the wind. (I have a feeling this lie won’t work much longer because he will soon associate the wind with actually being outdoors- but for now I’m thankful it still works). I guess I am just grooming my child to dislike Mother Nature. Oh well, he’ll get over it, eventually.
I know what you are thinking, “How could a mother lie to her precious child like that?” My only defense is that I didn't have to get out of my pajamas, do my hair and take him to the park that morning to play outdoors. Besides, it was windy anyway.
Final Score:
Mommy: 1
Park: 0
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