These are just a few of the many reasons why I think being a
toddler is way better than being an adult:
*I would always have someone around to chop up my hotdogs
and grapes into tiny bite sized pieces to avoid choking. There would be no more shaky knees anytime I
eat in solitude. I also wouldn’t have the daunting task of chewing each bite 60
times before swallowing (chewing really gets in the way of my daily
activities).
*I wouldn’t have to brush my own teeth ever again- if I didn’t
want too. I could even chuck my SpongeBob
toothbrush at my mommy if I thought my teeth brushing experience wasn’t quite up
to par.
*I would never have to take a bubble-less bath again- Oh the
horror!
*I wouldn’t have to pick out my own clothes every
morning. Someone would magically fly
into my room in the middle of the night while I’m tucked away in my crib and
pick out the perfect outfit for tomorrow’s activities. I could also use my assigned belt as a weapon
in the morning if I am displeased with the clothes fairy’s choice of socks (hey-
someone has to pay for not matching my belt to my socks).
*I could throw my body down on the cold tile at any local
department store, all while kicking and screaming at the top of my lungs, and
others would chalk it up to simply missing my “afternoon nap.”
I can’t think of one negative to being a toddler- well, besides
soiling myself and the constant aroma of day-old poop lingering around you like
the token drunken girl at a party (but I have perfume to mask the smell- so we’re
good).
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| Life is SWEET! |
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