Mountain Dew Night

So, the other weekend my parents had agreed -or begged- to watch Chase overnight while I had a night out with some girl friends.  My Mom, Chase and I went out to Taco John's for dinner before my night of "whooping it up" (Ya, you're right, I can't really pull that off) began. I believe Taco Johns's was the perfect choice- because frankly, what two year old doesn't want to have a gallon of nacho cheese and a fist full of potato ole's for supper?  Well, Chase ate an entire box of fruit snacks (Dora ones of course) on our drive to my parent's house, so I figured he had already consumed his servings of fruit for the day, so he could have a dinner that was a little less nutritious.

While at dinner, Chase asked me for a drink of my pop- which of course was Mountain Dew.  I typically wouldn't have let my child guzzle down a 16 ounce cup of caffeinated Mountain Dew at 7pm, but since he wasn't going to be in my care for the evening, I thought this would be a great idea.  So guzzled he did.

I came- well stumbled- home at 3 am hoping to sneak down to the basement of my parents house, curl up into a ball and sleep blissfully until at least 7 am without anyone knowing I was even in the house. But my dream of sleeping in (or sleeping at all) was crushed when I walked into the house and saw my two year old, sitting straight up in bed waiting up for me as if I was a teenager who missed my curfew.  But not only was my child waiting up for me at 3 am, he was up for the day (Did you know that Barney is on at 3am?  And did you know that Barney is not any less annoying at 3am?), and I guess so was I.

Lesson Learned:  Do not teach your child how to bong Mountain Dew before bedtime unless you know for a fact that you are not sleeping in the same house as him.

 
On a side note: My mom told me that around midnight my child strolled into the living room where her and my dad were watching tv, crawled up into a rocking chair and nonchalantly asked, "So, what are you doing?"  Apparently caffeine does effect a 2 year old.  Who would have guessed?  Certainly, not me.

Perkins

On Friday, Cory, Chase and I went to Perkins for dinner.  I shouldn't expect my toddler to sit down for an hour long dinner - but, ofcourse when you have a hankering for Brinner (breakfast food for dinner), your good decision-making skills fly out the window. 

Of course, we were seated dead center in the middle of the restaurant (where the eyes of every other customers end up on you frequently- and of course they did) in a booth with a window as a partition from the customers on the other side enjoying their breakfast food for dinner as well.  All was going well until Chase finished his bear pancake (with chocolate chips, because frankly, who would order a bear shaped pancake without chocolate chips?) and had a legitimate question that he needed to ask the adorable elderly couple on the opposite side of the partition.  Chase took his tiny fists that were caked in syrup of many flavors (which is why I enjoy Perkins- who doesn't love to have three different choices of syrup?), and started to bang on the glass partition, all while asking the elderly gentleman (of course at the top of his lungs) with frosty gray hair, "Hey old man, are you done eating?" 

May I note, he didn't ask this once- he asked this repeatedly until Cory's hand was able to reach across the table and cover his sticky mouth. 

Needless to say, we are no longer welcome at Perkins (at least until our two year old can refrain from insulting their customers).

Laundromat

It’s no secret that Chase is my main squeeze; we spend tons of time together.  I am very blessed that I am able to spend as much time with my little munchkin as I do (although, I don’t think it will ever be enough- I mean seriously, if he’s not hanging out with me- then he’s making memories without me in them.  And we all know that isn’t acceptable.), but sometimes I forget that I am speaking with a two year old. 

It has always been very easy to carry on conversations with my tiny tot.  I believe his large vocabulary has made my parenting gig fairly easy so far because he has- for the most part- been able to communicate to me what he wants and needs.  We can actually go days without a tantrum because we are usually on the same page (unless I eat his last ho-ho and then all hell breaks loose.  Seriously, Chase still refers to me as, “The mommy who ate the last ho-ho,” at least once a week.  Had I known this was going to be an issue for months, upon months, I would have hidden the empty wrapper.  Man can my child hold a grudge.)  

But usually there is something in our conversations that reminds me he is a two year old.  For example:

The other day, Chase and I passed a Laundromat (which we have passed twice a day for the last 2.5 years- but for some reason one day it stuck out to him) and this was our conversation:

Chase: “Mama (yes, my child refers to me as Mama, and yes- I think it is adorable.), what’s that building called?”

Me: “It’s a Laundromat.”

Chase: “What’s a Laundromat?”

Me: “It’s where people can go to wash and dry their clothes if they don’t have a washing machine or dryer at home.”

Chase: “Why don’t people have them at home?”

Me: “There are many reasons.”

Chase: “What reasons?”

Me: “Well, sometimes people don’t have enough money to buy a washer and dryer or they may live in an apartment that doesn't have a washing machine or dryer.”

Chase: “Why don’t they have money?”

Me (trying to be as insightful (and educational) as possible): “Well, there are many reasons; sometimes a Mommy or a Daddy lost a job, or maybe a family member is sick, or maybe they had to use their money to buy something else they really needed.”

Chase: “Oh or a monster bit their face off?”

Me: “Yes child. Sometimes people don’t have washers and dryers because a monster bit off their face.”

And that is where we ended the conversation, because frankly, I tried my hardest and failed.  My insightfulness (totes not an actual word- just kidding, I am too old to say totes instead of totally) was wasted on this conversation. 

Yup that's totally my child picking his nose. Typical Chase.

On A Side Note

As Chase gets older and our family gets busier, there are many things that I keep mental notes of in hopes that I will have time to go back and do something with these notes (that disappear from my brain just a quickly as they appear).  Here are my "side notes" from today:

On a side note:

Enroll Chase in art classes. After spending many, many minutes (I know what you’re thinking, “Minutes?” Yes. Minutes.  Anyone who has ever played play-dough with a two year old knows that time drags on, and on, and on and it takes everything inside of you to restrain yourself from yanking the play-dough out of your tots hands and finishing the project yourself so you can- for the love of God- move on to a different activity.) watching Chase sculpt his statue, this is what he came up with-  

Chase entitled his masterpiece, “Crushed play-dough.”

Dear feelings- please don’t be hurt that Chase thought your sculpture was a spider.  I don’t know how he could have mistaken my self-sculpture for a yucky, creepy, crawly spider.  (On a side note- get Chase’s eyes checked.)

On a side note:

Toughen up my tiny Sally.  Chase’s insult of the day was, “I will wipe off your kisses.” Oh please, oh please child, toughen up by middle school. (Because I’m not going to stop dressing you in sweater vests anytime soon and you will, most certainly, need to defend yourself.)

I hope I have enough time tomorrow to follow-up on all of my "notes."  

On a side note, this is day one of our “Elf on the Shelf” experience.  I’ll keep you posted on this naughty, naughty elf’s mischievous adventures.  Or as Chase would call him, “A naughty pants.” Because clearly, everything is more dramatic when you add “pants” on the end. 

Bed Time

Reasons my Chatty Chasey needed me to go back into his room after I tucked him into bed tonight:

Reason Number One:

I hear, “I have to go potty!” coming from Chase’s room, so I rush into his room, swoop over the side of his crib,pull him out and rush him into the bathroom (I say “rush” as if my bathroom and his room are miles apart- in fact, one night when I was using the restroom after I laid Chase down for bed, I heard him say- “Mommy, I hear your pee.”) and sit him on the potty and nothing comes out.   He then says, “Mamma, I won’t fib about potty tomorrow.” (I’m glad he clarified that he won’t lie about going potty tomorrow- so it still leaves every other topic open to lie about.  Well played little one.)

Reason Number Two:

Chase: “Mom! Come here!”

Me: “What buddy?”

Chase: “Is it raining outside?”

Me: “No. It's winter. Please go to sleep.”

Chase: “You should let me see if it's raining.”

(Insert sound of Chase’s bedroom door closing and me walking away.)

Reason Number Three:

(Insert the sound of me opening the door knob to Chase’s room yet again).  Apparently, Chase spends ample amount of time in his crib (in the dark- because frankly, nothing is shameful in the dark) knuckle deep in his nose and expects me to wipe each booger off of his pointer finger. 

Reason Number Four:

Once again, I hear Chase yelling from his room, “Mom, I have a deal for you!”  Naturally, I was intrigued about what deal my two year old had mustered up, so I entered his room and asked what his deal was.  He said sweetly, "I need one more hug- that’s my deal."  (I have to admit, it was a pretty good deal.)   

I know I probably shouldn't indulge my child’s every wish and request, but hey- I only have one child, so I have plenty of time on my hands to indulge.    

Yes and No

Yes. My child pulled down his pants when I was taking a bath, leaned over the edge of the bathtub and peed on me.

No. I didn't drain out the water and start over, although I probably should have.  I just continued on as normal… After all, I didn't want to run out of hot water.

Yes. While sitting at lunch at daycare, my child asked his daycare provider, “What do you think my mom will get me for Christmas? Maybe a big screen tv?”

No. My child isn't spoiled.

Yes. My child asked me for a “snacky-snack” today.

No. I don’t want anyone to tell Cory that our son called a bag of chips a “snacky-snack.” He already thinks Chase spends too much time around females. 

Yes.  My child told me, “Mama, good job going pee on the big potty,” when I used the bathroom the other day.  He then proceeded to clap for me.  (I think I may need to start locking the bathroom door.)

No. I didn't hate the compliment.

Yes.  My child walked around Applebee’s like a zombie with his arms straight out in front of him saying, “I’m a booby monster.”

No. I didn't correct my child and tell him it is actually called a “boogie monster.”

Cory shot a deer last weekend and hung it in our yard.  A little hillbilly?  

I Am Thankful For Boogers

I have noticed a lot of people posting on Facebook the things that they are thankful for, so I thought I would take a swing at it (sorry for the sports reference, it's not like I have taken a physical swing at anything since I failed miserably at softball in middle school)…

Today I am thankful for boogers. Why, you ask?

For without boogers, my silly tot wouldn’t be picking his nose.  And if he wasn’t picking his nose every night in his crib before he drifts off to sleep, then he wouldn’t call out for me to hurry into his room to wipe a booger off of his tiny, two inch finger and I wouldn’t be able to get one last kiss in before he closes his eyes for the night.  Maybe I should teach him not to pick his nose, but hey- this disgusting, unacceptable behavior is growing on me.