Unspoken Milestones and Sparkle Puppy

There are some unspoken milestones that I can’t wait for my child to accomplish. 

First, I can’t wait until my child learns how to eat French fries two or three at a time like the rest of the population.  Because seriously, trips to fast food restaurants are supposed to be fast. And eating with a three year old is anything but fast.  Look. I’m not proud that I steal my child’s fries when he isn't looking. I’m not doing it because I’m hungry and need more fries, I am doing it so we can continue on with our evening and frankly, I’m ready to leave. 

Secondly, I can’t wait until my child can wipe himself (completely and correctly) after using the bathroom.  Don’t get me wrong, he gives it the old college try, but let’s face it, not everyone is Ivy League.  Recently, after an independent wiping incident that required an entire roll of toilet paper (or so Chase thought), I had to stick my hand into the toilet bowl and grab out three clumps of toilet paper.  It was a split second decision I had to make; either fish out the excess toilet paper (by hand of course) or learn how to plunge a toilet on the fly.  To this day, eight days later, I stand by my decision, despite how disgustingly awful it was. 

Now with all of that said.  There is a milestone I am glad he hasn't reached yet; reading.  I am beyond grateful that Chase has at least a couple years ahead of him before he starts to read.  Do you know how disappointed he is going to be when he realizes that pages of books have more words on them than what he’s used to hearing?  Go ahead, start judging.  Before having a child I would have judged too.  But sometimes I can’t get into the groove of Dr. Seuss and stumble over some of his words.  So I make them up or eliminate them all together.  The tricky part though, is remembering how you edited each book because a three year old will remember how the book was read the previous day.  

This is my child. Petting a pretend dog he made out of an egg carton, paint, google eyes and pipe cleaners this morning.  What a sad, sad life he leads.

Here is a close up of "Sparkle Puppy."  Seriously.