I Swear- At Home, It Isn't Creepy

Have you ever thought that you are turning your child into a creep? Well, this weekend I had an epiphany.... a parenting epiphany. (Of course I would never intentionally turn my child into a creeper, but I think it may have happened, on pure accident.) 

Chase and I often play a game we have named, "Paddle butt." (Well, I guess now when I say it out loud it sounds a bit creepy already).  This game consists of me pretending to "paddle" Chase's butt when he is walking and then he starts running to get away from the "paddle" (Side note: To anyone associated with Child Protective Services: Despite the misleading name, this doesn't actually inflict any pain and I don't use an actual paddle).  We may yell, "Paddle Butt," every now and then while we do this activity.  Well, at home, this game isn't alarming.  But in public (as it turns out) it sounds tremendously creepy.  Here is how I know that.....

The other day, we were standing in line at a local restaurant waiting to place our order when out of no where, Chase starts paddling my butt with all of his might (he even added in some grunting sounds to prove that he is strong).  I quickly turned around and asked him to stop as people were beginning to notice my child touching my derriere.  Then chase asked, completely innocently, in front of everyone, "Why? You like when I do this at home in my bedroom."  (Chase had a totally legit question, but I didn't want the strangers to know that we play games involving others touching our butts at home. (Okay, again that sounds a tad creepy.)

(Insert the sound of my facing turning beat red- if there is a sound for that.)

I literally felt the teller judging me (and I'm pretty sure I saw him fumbling to text social services to report me) with his disapproving eyes and greasy hair (okay, I don't remember for a fact that he was greasy, but to make me feel a tad bit better I am believing that he was).

I turned to Cory (who was clearly pretending he wasn't associated with us) and all I could mutter out was, "I swear, it isn't that creepy at home."  I am very surprised that we are still aloud to eat anywhere in St. Cloud (Although, I'm pretty sure I can't come within 10 yards of any elementary schools anymore). 

I guess now that Chase is getting older, I need to revisit the games we used to play, mainly for the fact that he doesn't quite understand yet what is appropriate to say or do in public (for instance, it's not appropriate to pick both of your nostrils so deep in public that you get two nose bleeds- learned that one the hard (and gross) way.  I wonder at what age he will learn that the most appropriate place to pick your nose at is clearly in your car at a stoplight.)

I don't know about you, but when I think of my great parenting skills I always think......."Nailed it!"