House Rules

I’m not ignorant to the fact that I am a little strange (hey- you can’t fully blame me, have you met my family?), but I fear my oddities are rubbing off on my child.

I don’t have many rules in my house but the two rules I do enforce, I enforce like a drill sergeant. 

Rule #1: No rubbing food on your man jewels before eating it (this rule is no secret- but rule number two is something I thought I would never tell anyone outside of my house).

Rule #2:  You are welcome to have a snack while you are sitting on the potty- as long as it doesn't involve a fork (because frankly, using a fork in that environment can be dangerous).

Tonight while we were eating dinner Chase announced, “I have to go potty!”  Luckily for him he was already naked (no, being dressed at dinner isn't one of our household rules, don’t ask me why that one didn't make the cut) so his exit from the dining room to the bathroom shouldn't have been difficult.  He slid off of his dining room chair, and high tailed it into the hallway headed directly for the bathroom.  But somewhere along the way he decided he needed something, so back to the dining room table he came.  He crawled up on his chair as if no one was watching (and it wasn't shameful), grabbed a handful of shredded cheese and announced matter-of-factly, “Oh, I needed cheese” and off to the bathroom he returned.  (On a side note, he did make it to the potty and gobbled up his entire handful of cheese before he got up to wipe himself.)

It’s nice to know that although my child is a little odd, he is a rule follower.  After all, he may have brought a rather bizarre snack to the potty, but he didn't bring a fork and for that he got a high five when he returned to the table.   

Please don’t question my parenting.  Child Protective Services is questioning my parenting enough for everyone.  J