Potty Training Reports

So, we have been potty training for the last four days.  This is our second attempt at potty training.  Last time, I lasted for a half day before I broke down and wanted to put diapers back on both of us. 

This time around I have decided I would keep daily potty training reports so when Chase is older he can see the torture he put me through (and when he is rich he will feel guilty and buy me expensive things or at least put me in a nice nursing home)….

Day 1- What the heck did we get ourselves into?

We decided to set a timer every 30 minutes from the time Chase woke up until the time he went to bed.  Every time the timer went off, we put Chase on the potty.  Holy crap, I have never realized how many 30 minutes make up one day.  I swear the universe added extra minutes to the day just to torture me.  Every time I knew the timer was about to go off, I cringed and strapped on my helmet.  Yes, I did say helmet.  My child decided that it was, in fact, appropriate behavior to throw punches in my direction and scratch my forearms every time I would get within arm’s reach of him on the potty.

Note to self: Clip Chase’s fingernails tomorrow- for my own safety.

My conclusion for the day: Maybe Chase’s wife won’t mind changing his diapers.

Chase’s conclusion for the day: “Mommy, I want to scratch you.”

Day 2- Oh day 2, why won’t you end?

Chase did slightly better today.  When I say slightly, I mean not at all.  Today was more of a numbers game: 6 tinkles in the potty, 2 accidents, ½ of a poop in undies, ½ of a poop in the potty, 7 swats at me, and 1 bruise.

My conclusion for the day: I promise I won’t cry again tomorrow.

Chase’s conclusion for the day: “Mommy, I don’t want to play potty training anymore.”

Day 3- Sorry!

Chase didn't do well potty training at daycare today.  To the couch and living room carpet at daycare: Sorry you got a urine bath today.   Although Chase rejected potty training at daycare today, Chase had no accidents at home.  This is progress.

My conclusion for the day: To my child care provider:  I’m sure Chase didn't actually mean to hit you when you tried to put him on the potty. I’m sure his fist accidentally bumped your arm, repeatedly.  Right?

Chase’s conclusion for the day: “Potty training is naughty.”

Day 4- My favorite phone call ever!

While at work this morning my phone rings.  Ring. Ring.  On the other end is my Chasey; he called me from day care (No, he didn’t grab the phone and dial my number by himself- I’m sure he had help).  He yelled gleefully into the phone, “I pee in the potty. Take me to Cherry Berry.”  Chase knew he did something good and he knew he needed a reward. 

Side Note: No accidents today! 

My conclusion for the day:  Ya! I can retire my helmet and my washing machine gets a night off.

Chase’s conclusion for the day: Damn, I guess they aren't going to give in; I might as well get Cherry Berry out of the deal.