Humpty Dumpty

At our house we spend a lot of time reading, singing and saying nursery rhymes.  Chase was repeating Humpty Dumpty the other night and it got me to thinking.  Nursery rhymes are very counterproductive to our current practices and are a little morbid. For instance:

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All of the king’s horses and all of the king’s men, couldn’t put Humpty together again.

First off, whose name is actually Humpty Dumpty? Don’t you think having the word dumpty in your name gives you a little preview into your future that you are almost certainly going to dump yourself off of a high building.  It’s not like you need an old lady sitting at a table in a dark alley rubbing a glass ball to tell you that one.

Secondly, where were Humpty’s parent’s during this time?  It seems as though if he isn’t old enough to harness himself to the wall before climbing, shouldn’t he have had someone do that for him? Or at least be under the supervision of his parents?  I’m guessing they were probably on their IPhones.

Thirdly, how are you supposed to explain to your child why Humpty was on the wall in the first place? “Well, Little Billy, Humpty’s wife ran off with the milk man last week and he just lost his job…”  I think not.   

Lastly, couldn’t all of the king’s horses and all of the king’s men try a little harder to put Humpty Dumpty back together again?  I mean, why were they so quick to give up?  Aren’t we supposed to teach our children to try and then try again?  I think that this rhyme is missing one last sentence:  “And then all of the King’s horses and all of the King’s men tried really hard one more time and eventually did put Humpty together again. (And then they all did a chest bump and headed to the bar to celebrate.)” That ending would be way more suitable for small children, well minus the bar part.

I’m not saying I’m never going to repeat this nursery rhyme ever again to my child (because frankly, I’m proud that he can repeat the whole rhyme himself.   So I’m going to encourage him to show off his Humpty Dumpty skills to every stranger we see- I certainly cannot let his skills go unnoticed.), but I might think twice about changing the words again to “Chasey Dumpty,” because I guess in that version, I was unknowingly killing off my son.  Opps!  Anyway- Happy Friday!

And I quote (sadly): "Mom, my cheese is like whiskers on a kitty."