Superhero Qualities

With Mother’s Day quickly approaching, I can’t help but think of all of the qualities Mothers’ poses.  We truly are Superheroes! Here are some of my Superhero qualities:

-I have impeccable eyesight:  Believe it or not, I can tell, with just one look (even from across the park), that my child has to poop and we need to skedaddle.  Some may not think this, in fact, is a superhero quality. Those people don’t have children. 

-I have the ability to be invisible: You know, when your child is the one acting out at the playground.  I’m super great at being incognito at these times.  You know, when all of the other moms are looking at each other making eye contact trying to figure out whose child is the one being unruly.  One of my talents is looking blankly back at them and shrugging my shoulders, all while pretending to scan the crowd of people pretending to look for that “unruly” child’s mother.  Then leaving shamelessly an hour later holding my “unruly” child’s hand as we skip to our car, blissfully; none the wiser. 

-I have the memory of an elephant:  Yeah, elephants have great memories, right?  Well, anyway I have a memory similar to some animal that has a great memory.  I have the ability to remember almost anything.  Well anything that has something to do with my child.  Ask me what my social security number is or what I had for lunch today and I will draw a blank.  But ask me to name every Teletubbie or when the last time my child pooped was and I can name them all.  I could even tell you what my child’s feces looked like, smelt like, the consistency of it and when I think he will relieve his bowels again.  If that isn't a superhero quality, I don’t know what is.   

-I have the ability to read minds:  The more this “Mother” title is on my resume; the better I am at reading minds.  Well, maybe not everyone’s minds, just my child’s.  For instance, I know three seconds before he tries to whip out his man jewels to urinate on a tree at the park.  I know in enough time to swoop in and swat his hands away from his waistline in the hopes that he won’t have to register as a sex offender at the sweet age of four.  I can also tell three seconds before my child tries to give someone a titty twister (or penny spinner as my child calls them nowadays).  Unfortunately, that is usually three seconds too late and there is nothing I can do (Well there is, this is when I call on my invisibility talent).

-I have excellent self-esteem: Although many people are self-confident in their parenting, I believe becoming a parent made me more confident in myself and in my decisions.  I mean, I had to become confident, I had no choice.  Do you know how many times a day I hear things like, “How come your butt is squishy?” Or my personal favorite: “How come my boobs are bigger than yours?”  If I hadn't built up my self-esteem, I may have ended it years ago. 

On serious note (I know, I can totally be serious once every four years): I do have a great life being my Little Nugget’s Mommy and I do know that I have a pretty sweet gig, especially since I get to work from home and enjoy my child more than most.  I think Chase described it perfectly the other day when we were in the car on our way to Target (Because honestly, don’t all of the best memories happen when you are on your way to Target?).  Chase was in the backseat, strapped into his car seat with his hands stretched behind his head, relaxing, and he looked at my reflection in the mirror and said, “Mom, it’s great that I have this life.”  (On a side note: this philosophical side of Chase ended just as quickly as it came; we ended up leaving Target prematurely due to a tantrum. Like one of those “that lady must be abducting that child” sort of tantrum.  Come on Mommies, you know the level of tantrum I’m talking about.)  

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the other Mommy Superheroes out there, and to anyone who fills that motherly role for anyone.  

My Nugget; wrapping fake presents for his imaginary pets.  I couldn't tell if this activity was cute or a cry for help. Either way, I got a half smile out of him for the picture.