Toots-Day

No one prepares you for having a boy.  I mean, I can totally discuss superheroes and build Legos all day, but the one thing that I will never get used to is the butt and fart talk. I mean seriously, I didn’t think there was any other way my child could work butts or farts into conversations, but I was wrong.

At our house we do circle time every morning in which we discuss letters, numbers, the day of the week, the weather, etc.  (Yeah, I’m totally one of those moms who works on this stuff rigorously so my child won’t be behind in school.  I mean, if I don’t give him a head start now, some other, undeserving child might pass him up on his trot up the white house steps.  (On a side note: I hope he doesn't inherit asthma from me. I’m sure there have been other presidents who have suffered from asthma.  I could just bedazzle his inhaler with red, white and blue gems.  We would both enjoy that.) Well yesterday my child was in a particularly “butty” mood.  He interrupted all of my daily teachings with butt humor.  

This is how my sweet, sweet 3 year old sung the ABCs:

A-B-C-D- “I am clenching my butt” -K-L-M-N-O-P (and so on and so forth).  (On a side note: Chase learned how to clench his butt cheeks this past weekend and has been working countless hours on perfecting the tightest clench. Did you just hear that bang?  That was the sound of me throwing away Chase’s college fund into the garbage.  I don’t think it will be needed.)

This is how another conversation went:

Me: “Does anyone know what day of the week it is today?”

Chase (excitedly blurts out): “It’s Toots-day.”  No actually child of mine, it’s Tuesday. Not Toots-day.

Although I find his words to be extremely appalling, I do have to applaud his creativity and determination. Then again, who am I to judge, as I type this I totally just picked up a piece of puppy chow that was melted to the side of my shirt from snack earlier this afternoon, and happily plopped it into my mouth. Looks like my college fund was a waste as well; must run in the family.

Any-who, I will snuggle my little guy even tighter today, despite the butt talk, because frankly, I can and he’s my little nugget. (Speaking of nuggets, I’m a little hungry for McDonald's.)