Homeless Man In My Bed

First and foremost, I apologize for my blog laziness. I have had mono and have become a huge bump on a log. I’m starting to think the fabric of my couch is starting to stain my skin a delightful olive green color as a result of laying on it so much.  Although, who would have thought that having mono is the best way to get back down to your ideal weight?  Mono is doing wonders for my self-esteem. 

Any who...

This week I have learned something about my child; he is very passionate and loves to share.  Well not share his things of course, but my only offspring is certainly quick to offer up my belongings. 

The other day Chase and I were driving down the road to the grocery store.  There is a stoplight in our town that is on the way to the grocery store.  I usually try to avoid at all costs.  Not because I dislike stoplights, but because I dislike being stopped for a grueling 4 minutes in front of a man holding a sign that reads, “Homeless, anything helps.”  

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike people who are experiencing homelessness, I have worked at a homeless shelter for 7 years now, but I would rather the sign say, “Homeless, Can I get someone loan me $2 for a bus ticket to go to the local homeless shelter where I can get connected with a social worker there to help me find a job, save money and secure stable housing?”  But I guess this gentleman’s sign was too small for that.  

So, of course, as I pull up to the stoplight it turns red.  Not just regular red but a red that screams, “ha-ha” (of course in the voice of Nelson from the Simpsons) as I put on my brakes to come to a complete stop. 

All was going well until Chase locked eyes with the man holding the sign.  Of course this peaked his curiosities, which lead to him asking, “Mom, what does hims sign say?”  So I read the sign (or the interpretation that I thought Chase would understand), “I don’t have anywhere to live.  Can someone help me?”  Chase was quiet for a minute as if deciding where he stands on this matter. 

Chase then asked, “Can he live with his family?”  I thought this was a completely logical question and answered, “The sign doesn't talk about his family, but I would guess probably not.  Maybe his family lives far, far away.”  Chase paused for a few seconds then said, “He’s a boy.  He can sleep in your bed.  Boys can always sleep in your bed.”  (Um, come again?  It’s not like my bedroom has a revolving door, but apparently my child thinks that.)  Now this time, I paused for a second to process what he just said and try to piece together my dignity before I answered.  So I replied, “Chase, honey, only you and daddy can sleep in my bed.  We don’t let strangers sleep in our bed.  Please remember that when you are away at college.”  (Okay, so I totally could have left out the college part, but as a parent it’s my duty to throw my parenting plugs in whenever possible.  I saw an opportunity and took it). 

At this point Chase started to become upset and said (quite loudly while flailing his arms in the air), “We have to share our stuff.  We have lots to share.”  (Well, the kid had a point and I have been trying to stress sharing for the last few weeks and I didn't want to be a hypocrite, so the homeless gentleman got in our car and we headed home so I could share my bed.  Haha just kidding.  Do you think I’m that crazy?). 

Trying to get Chase off of the topic of mom and bed sharing, I asked him if we should buy the homeless gentleman some food.  Chase asked, “Where is he going to eat?  We have another chair at our table in the kitchen by Daddy’s spot.” (This is the one time I’m regretting not having a second child to fill that empty seat in the kitchen).  I replied (trying everything I could to distract my child from the fact that he so desperately wants this homeless man to come to our house), “What food should we buy the man at the grocery story?”  Chase replies, in typical three year old fashion, “Well, not the cookies with sprinkles I want.”  (And there it is ,back to reality).

As we passed the corner on our way home from the grocery store, where the homeless man was previously standing, he was no longer there.  I wonder if another 3 year old convinced his mother to bring the gentleman home.