"What. The. Actual. F"

It is no secret that my Ryder Jaymeson is hard on me.  It's like he was born to keep my self-esteem in check.  Like this kid looks for reasons to be upset with me.  Daily, he scans the garbage can to see if he can sniff out any candy wrappers that may show that I have broken my Lenten challenge to refrain from chocolate, just so he can shame me.  Which in reality, I just gave up eating chocolate in front of my children for 40 days.  But it's a little hurtful that Ryder is expecting me to fail and is simply waiting for the proof to appear.  

Well, this morning at 6am after I had already fed Ryder, showered him, dyed his hair blue, hand-washed his clothes from yesterday so he can re-wear his favorite shirt again today and packed his cold lunch, I was cleaning out his backpack only to stumble upon an art project.  Ryder must have been instructed to write about and draw someone who is 'worth more than gold' in honor of St. Patrick's Day.  I started admiring the project until I saw the drawing and noticed that the drawing didn't look like me. The cute little character Ryder drew didn't have any hair.  Then I started reading what he wrote and let out a loud, "What. The. Actual. F*ck." 

The project featured Cory.  Yes, you read that correctly....CORY.  To be more exact the project featured Cory helping Ryder complete his homework.  Excuse me? What? I'm not even sure Cory knows our kids have backpacks yet alone homework.   

I was also annoyed to see the sun shining in the background of the picture through what appeared to be our kitchen window.  Because, let's be honest, if we were being realistic, it should have shown an icy snowstorm from when hell froze over.  Because that is when Cory would be helping Ryder with his homework. 

There's nothing like an emotional kick in the crotch before the sun comes up to make you really optimistic about your day.

"My Dad is worth more than gold. He helps me with my homework."