Parenting Ryder is 10% disciplining him and 90% trying not to laugh at something we should be disciplining him for.
Ryder puts on a Luigi costume from the Nintendo video game and lunges towards me as if he’s flying in the video game and asks me, “Want to try 'shrooms?”
I reply, “I don't think Luigi runs around asking people to try 'shrooms.”
Cory quietly whispers to me, "Did our 5 year old just ask you to try 'shrooms?"
Me: "I'm going to walk away before I start laughing and pretend like this conversation didn't happen."
Cory: "Fair."
On another note, we went to the park this past weekend with my parents. Ryder was being his typical, naturally loud self on top of the jungle gym just babbling away to no one in particular. I saw my mom step away for a second to take a phone call and all I heard was, “Hi.” Followed by a pause. Then, “Yeah, that’s just Ryder using his porn voice again.” And then she continued on with her conversation as if it is normal that Ryder has a porn voice.
And it was true. So true. Ryder does have a porn voice. Sometimes he talks in this voice that sounds dirty, especially coming out of his little baby toothed mouth. He doesn’t know why we hate when he uses that voice. But of course, he uses it all of the time because he knows we hate it.
You know how you always see those Facebook posts that tell you how to come up with your porn name? Like you add your first pet's name and the street you grew up on to come up with this porn/stripper name. Well, according to those, Ryder's porn name would be... just kidding. Even I have some discretion. I'm not going to give my child a porn name. But for those curious (and I'm sure you are), mine would be Cocoa Marshall.
Any who, we've almost made it to Friday my friends.
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