I Cried at the Dentist Today... And it Wasn't Even My Appointment.

Yesterday was a day.  I couldn't even write about it yesterday because the wounds were still too fresh. 

This was my day in a nutshell via a text with a friend:

Friend: How's your day going?

Me: I cried at the dentist today... And it wasn't even my appointment.

So Ryder has a cavity.  We had a referral for a pediatric dentist months ago to get this cavity fixed, but the appointment got rescheduled a few times due to COVID.  His new appointment was scheduled for the end of August. However, he hadn't slept all week due to tooth pain, which also translates to Mom hasn't slept all week.  One night, I even resorted to driving around town at 2am to calm him.  Didn't work.  But I learned that I like our sleepy little town at 2am.  The lake is very peaceful. 

Any who, I called the pediatric dentist to see if they could get Ryder in any earlier than his August appointment and to my delight they could get him in later yesterday morning.  

Ryder said he was very excited to go to the dentist until we got about 5 minutes away and he started telling me that his stuffed animal- Dragon- was nervous to go to the dentist.  And it was all downhill from there. The first task was to have the dentist look at his teeth, which he happily complied with but then it was onto the X-ray room.  Ryder refused to be cooperative.  He screamed at the top of his lungs for what felt like an eternity. This isn't typical behavior for Ryder.  He is usually pretty compliant when it comes to following directions. Sure, he may give tasks extra "flare" as he is doing it, but this wasn't cute "flare."  This was, the house is burning to the ground and we all need to evacuate immediately. Everyone at the dentist's office was patient and kind.  Actually more patient and kind then I would have been.  They tried and they tried.  I tried and I tried until we just couldn't try anymore (you know, without scaring the other kids in the dentist's chairs).  The next option was, for a lack of better words, a baby straight jacket or sedation. Since we already knew Ryder would need to have some dental work done, they suggested putting him under to do all dental work in one day, including the simple X-rays.  So that's what we are choosing to do because having a fully sedated Ryder seems like my favorite kind of Ryder. (Kidding, but not really.) 

After we left, I was so overwhelmed with the quick planning and rearranging of the day (I like to pretend that I'm very "go with the flow" but I'm not.  I like structure and order and hate everything else.), overwhelmed and embarrassed about my child turning into a demon, and not feeling good myself. 

So after the appointment I found myself, 33 years old, parked in the McDonald's parking lot, sobbing into my already perfectly salted fries, licking spilt sweet and sour sauce off of my shirt because I had no pride left to give a crap about actually using a napkin.  And besides, all of the napkins were already soaked with my over-privileged, overwhelmed tears.  I'm pretty sure I hit my rock bottom at that moment. 

After there were no more nuggets left to consume we headed home.  I had a whole hour drive home from the dentist to collect my thoughts and get my act together (I knew I needed to get my act together, because frankly, I think my tears scared the teen-aged boy who was working the drive-thru at McDonalds.  What a sight I must have been.  A slightly middle aged, blonde haired women all of 100 pounds wearing a T-shirt that sported a sloth doing yoga on it, with makeup running down her cheeks, bloodshot eyes, sobbing through a pandemic protective mask as she's handing a teen-aged boy her tye-died decorated credit card to pay for her lukewarm lunch.) Like I said... rock bottom. 

When Cory walked in the door from work he asked Ryder how the dentist was (already knowing damn well it was a complete shit show). Ryder's response: "Mom cried like a little baby," as he rolled his hands into little fists that he raised to the outer corners of his eyes and turned in little half circles to make a crying motion, which he followed with a chant of, "Waah! Waah! Waah! Waah!"

So in other news, Ryder has lost electronic privileges until he is 42. And now only one child is listed in my will.