Wow- it has been a hot minute since I have blogged. (Okay, yeah. I will take a "hot minute" out of my vocabulary. But not because I am not hip and cool and down with the hot new lingo, but because I choose not to use it anymore. How very liberal of me.)
Anyway, my family had a great Easter weekend. Although, I did have to add long sleeves to my children's Easter attire due to the snowstorm we got this weekend (Where is global warming when you need it?). And to make matters worse, we had to have both of our Easter egg hunts indoors and do you know how difficult it is to hide Easter eggs in the same room that your kids are playing in? #weatherfail #firstworldproblems
Church. Oh Church. Why can't you be 17 minutes long (my toddler's current attention span limit) and be filled with nothing but Garfield cartoons (Ryder's current favorite. I mean come on kid, are you growing up in the 90s?) and jelly beans? Luckily, Ryder did have a pocketful of jelly beans during church. But instead of watching cartoons, he spent most of the hour and a half pointing to different adult men that he wanted to shake hands with (Mental note to self: keep an eye on Ryder's infatuation for unknown adult men) and saying, quite loudly, "I want to share peace with that man," over and over and over until he decided to give up and lay his face on the cool floor (You know, what most people trying to cure a hangover do). At which I didn't reject to because it was, in fact, the only thing that kept him quiet after he ran out of jelly beans and strange men to be infatuated with.
I did spent a large amount of time at church observing other families with small children and trying to take note of why their kids were all so well behaved while 50 percent of my children were licking the cool floor and the other 50 percent were trying to stomp on the other half, laying on the floor. But I came up empty handed. And since it can't be because of parenting and because I didn't want to look inward and re-evaluate my parenting style, I will just say that all of the other children in church must have been drugged to sit so nicely and quietly at church. And a special pat on the back to me for not drugging my children, especially on a holiday. Wow, I am a great parent. I should start teaching parenting classes, or at a minimum start a podcast about my parenting (note to self: try and figure out exactly what a podcast is.)
After killing it at church, we spent the day gorging ourselves with candy. And when I say "we," I am including my 2 year old nugget who was too hopped up on sugar to take a nap on Easter. We laid that little bugger down for a nap at my parent's house in his pack-n-play. When I went to check on him a little while later, he was standing up in the pack-n-play, licking the fabric sides. He stopped licking only long enough to say, "I all done sleeping. It not dark out." So being the great mother that I am, I rescued my nugget from his nap and brought him back to the party to, again, gorge himself with sugar. We did end up paying for his lack of nap time and more than adequate amount of sugar. We received this payback in the form of many, many messy diapers and not so many hours of sleep. (Which is actually super great birth control. Fellas- if your wife is trying to encourage you to have another baby- send them my way. One day with my sugared up tot will put an end to that.)
On a side note: Chase has decided he is over his curly hair. I have always told him that he gets to make the choices for his appearance. And we use the phrase, "Your body, your choice," a lot in our household. He wasn't afraid to belt that phrase out to me 10 minute before we needed to be at church while requesting a new hairstyle (you know because I am some sort of a hair wizard with all of the basic brushing and combing I have taught myself to do in the last three decades). So before being a shit-show at church, I spent an adequate amount of time in the bathroom while my 7 year old, son sat on a stool in-front of the mirror while I straightened his hair.
So pretty much this is where I am now. Somewhere between licking objects and straightening my son's hair.
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