School Days, Gigantic Butts and Snacks

Chase has officially been a kindergartner for a couple of weeks. And man, oh man, does he like school.  I don’t know if he likes the actual learning as much as he likes the independence and social time.  And- get this- I haven’t even gotten one phone call, email, or note sent home.  Which is clearly a parenting win!

Every day Chase’s work from the day is sent home in his folder.  And every day, after school we look through his folder together and he tells me about what he did.  As it turns out, Chase has been excelling in art. (Please note: I use the word "excel" loosely.) Below are my personal favorites so far. And by personal favorites I totally mean, “Thank goodness I didn’t get a note sent home about these” projects. 

The assignment: “Draw your house.”

Me: Chase, I like the drawing of our house.

Chase: You do? I didn’t think you would because instead of a roof I drew our house with giant butt cheeks on top.  (And yeah, upon further inspection, he did draw butt cheeks on top of our house.)

Apparently, my child literally believes we live in a sh*t hole.

Assignment: “Draw a picture of how children can help at home.”

His stated, “I am helping mom eat the snacks in the cupboard.” (Sure, buddy. That is helpful.)

Some days I cringe when I know I need to look in his folder.  It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid- one art project at a time.

Chase’s favorite part of school is recess and his least-favorite part is rest time.  He told me last night that one of his friends wouldn’t lay by him at rest time because he is “too noisy” and the child wanted to rest.  I asked Chase what he did after his friend told him that.  Chase said, “I laid by Tommy.  He’s always noisy, too.”  Well, problem solved I guess.