A 4wheel Ride, A Golf Win, A Winery and a Bottle of Karkov

Cory and I are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary.  So, in true Jayme fashion, I would like to gift him a story of our relationship. For two reasons.  1. Because I love our comical relationship and 2. Because I didn’t purchase you a present.  #frugallady #sorry 

Our Fairy-Tale:

Once upon a time, a knight in shining armor saw a girl with long, blonde hair at a house party.  He knew she looked in distress and came to the rescue.  He grabbed her arm and whisked her away to the front of the bathroom line so her vomit would make it in the toilet.  

7 years later our fairytale is pretty much the same.  We may need to come up with a better story to tell our children when they ask how we met. 

In all seriousness, who knew the “nice guy” at the party would end up being my husband?  I’ll tell you who has two thumbs and didn’t know… this girl (insert picture of me pointing at my face with my thumbs).  As it turned out, Cory and I had a lot of mutual friends in common and we had been missing each other at our friends' gatherings (yeah, let’s call them gatherings instead of keggers) for about 6 months before actually meeting.  Which turned out to be great timing because if we had met earlier, I don’t think either of us would have been ready for a relationship.

In honor of our anniversary, here are a few random gems that describe our relationship:

One rainy Saturday afternoon, when we were up camping, Cory asked me to go on a 4wheeler ride.  It was rainy and gloomy so I was reluctant to go, but he convinced me to go anyway.  About 30 minutes into the ride it started to rain. At this point we were driving along the Mississippi and Cory stopped the 4wheeler and got off to look at the river.  He graciously invited me to join but I declined because pouting in the pouring rain seemed more fun than looking at the view.  I was so annoyed because at this point I was drenched and submerged deeply into nature (not my favorite place to be), so I eventually hopped off the 4wheeler to tell Cory I wanted to go back to the cabin. After I gave him a piece of my mind, I turned around to get back onto the 4wheeler and he called my name.  I turned around once more to look at him and he was down on one knee with a ring in his hand.  Looking back I kinda wish I wouldn’t have been such a witch seconds before he decided to ask me to marry him.  But I guess he can never say he didn’t know what he was getting himself into. 

Fast-forward to our wedding day:

I spent the morning getting my hair and make-up done, primping and priming to make sure I felt good on this special day.  At 11am we were scheduled to take our first wedding picture.  You know, the typical picture where the groom is placed facing away from the bride and turns around to see her for the first time looking angelic in her silky-white wedding dress.  So at 11am, there I stood as my groom turned around to see me.  He looked gently at me, opened his mouth and said, “I won in golf this morning.”  I guess I can’t say I didn’t know what I was getting myself into either.

Here’s one more story (that I know Cory is going to kill me for):

So when I was pregnant with Chase, Cory and I met my parents and aunt and uncle at a local winery.  Since I was pregnant, I was the designated driver.  (On a side note: I never owe Cory another gift because I gave him two pregnancies worth of being the DD.)  We were at the winery for a little over an hour.  But don’t worry, Cory used his time wisely and slammed a few bottles of wine.  It took a couple of guys to get Cory into my passenger’s seat.  I drove home with a passed out Cory (or a sleeping Cory- if he was telling the story).  I ended up splashing his face with some water to wake him up to go inside once we made it to our house. Cory ended up puking on our bedroom floor- on white carpet of course.  He then proceeded to step in the vomit.  Once he finally climbed into bed, I started to take off his vomit soaked socks, in an attempt to not ruin the rest of our home.  As I was pulling the second sock off, a passed out Cory, regained just enough consciousness to ask, “Am I getting lucky?”  

But who am I to judge? After all, I once showed up to my college math class, opened up my bag only to accidentally drop my empty bottle of booze out of my bag.  And of course, to my horror, the classroom was actually in an auditorium with a slanted floor, so down and down my empty bottle of Karkov (gag) rolled.  So, I gathered my pride, walked down all 11 rows, knelt down next to my teacher’s foot, picked up my empty bottle and walked back quietly to my seat.  I then looked at my classmate sitting next to me and asked, “Do you have a pencil I can borrow?”  And that, ladies and gentleman, was how I started my first day of college.  

Good thing Cory and I both, kinda, have our acts together now.    

  

Really though, this guy is not only the awesome husband I knew he would be, he is also an outstanding daddy to our two little nugget faces! He goes the distance for us every, single day. 

Also, a huge shout out to my sisiter, Jessica, for making me call back the “nice guy” from the party when I was about to delete his voicemail message inviting me to a party he was throwing.  

 

This is the exact second that Cory is telling me that he won in golf- I shit you not.

My Promises To My Nuggets and "Mama"

Parents don’t always get things right, and I am not exempt from that but there are a few things that I will promise my children, and no matter how exhausted or busy I am, I will always, always keep these promises…

Dear Chase McGee and Ry-Ry Pumpkin Pie,

 

* I promise to always greet you with a smile in the morning and be genuinely happy to see you.  Everyone deserves to start their day off loved. And you are loved.  So, very loved. 

         * I promise to always (and I mean always) pack the ice-cream down in your ice-cream cone.  Anyone who leaves the cone hollow should not be trusted, under any circumstances.  Use this test to pick future partners. 

      * I promise that I will not lie to you about having a baby book.  I simply have never kept one up to date for you.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, it just means that I like watching television more than printing pictures.  But I also promise that the night before your high school graduation party, we will both sit at the kitchen table until midnight, sorting through 18 years of memories, pretending to be crafty and create one together.

     * I promise that whenever you ask me to read you a book, I will stop what I’m doing and read to you.  (Unless it’s a book that I don’t enjoy, in which case I will read it once and then throw it behind the book case in hopes that it will never again be discovered.) 

          * I promise, promise, promise that I will never stop writing about you.  Even when you are old enough to read this yourself and despise every word, I will never stop.  Adult you will appreciate this promise.  

 

Love always,

Momma

On a side note: Ryder has said “Mama” eight times. And “Dada” zero.

#sorryneighbors

My Night….

Chase (runs in from the deck): “Can I go over to Grayson’s grandma and grandpas and play?”

(They are our sweet neighbors. Chase and their grandson play together all of the time. Our fenced in backyards open up to each other’s yard, essentially making one big yard, so the kids run back and forth, all of the time.)

Me: “Sure. Dad will come get you when it’s supper time.”

Chase scampers off into the sunset. 

About 20 minutes later, Cory goes to the neighbors to get Chase for dinner. Cory comes home and says, “Guess what Chase was doing.  He was sitting at the kitchen table eating Little Ceasar’s pizza with the grandpa.  Grayson wasn’t even there.” 

Chase piped in: “I peered through their window and saw that they had pizza and I hoped that they would offer me some.” 

That’s right, my child wanted to eat pizza with the neighborhood grandpa and made it happen.  It took me a good 20 minutes for my laughter to subside and to be able to look at Chase without having to cross my legs, trying not to pee from laughter.  Hey, the kid knows how to get what he wants #winnerwinnerpizzadinner

A couple of weeks ago, we were outside in the backyard playing and our neighbor lady was gardening.  She walks over to the fence and says, “Congratulations.”  Coming up blank, I asked, “For what?”  She replied, “Chase told me you adopted a sweet blonde-headed baby girl.” (Chase was describing my girlfriend’s daughter).  I could feel my ears and cheeks start to turn red from embarrassment.  I replied, “We do love her, but we didn’t adopt her.”  The neighbor is silent for an awkward 17 seconds and then replies, “I’m guessing it’s not his birthday today either?”  I face my eyes to the ground and simply reply, “No, that’s in February.” 

I look over at Chase who is swinging on the swing.  He says nothing but gives us a shit-ass grin and continues about his business.   

Why, oh why, is this my life?