Good-bye Big Words, Poor Mamma Monkey

As a parent, there are conversations you have with your child, or things your child says to you, that make you feel really unintelligent. Some days, during nap time, I need to just look at words. Smart words, big words. You know, to make sure I remember what they mean because it has been a long, long time since I have had to use them.  Here are some of the reasons why my intelligence is feeling low these days.

Conversation with my four year old-

“Mom, come here. I need to wipe something on you.” 

Of course I responded by saying, “No thank you.”

Then Chase said, “But my eye booger is so cute. Oh, never mind, I just wiped it on my pants.”

For head smack.

Randomly, as my child is walking past me he blurts out, “Yeah, I think I need to change my underwear.”

Well, alrighty then child, I will not stand in your way of putting on shart-free undies.  Actually, I encourage it.

And my personal favorite-

“Mom, all you have to do is lick its butt.” 

I had no words, big or small, intelligent or not, to respond to this.

Hmm, of course this one needs an explanation.  And I’m sure the explanation doesn't match anything you are thinking right now.  That was how Chase described how to get a toy with a suction cup bottom to stick to our cupboard door handle.  (Picture below- only to prove my son is not a pervert.)

This is how engulfed I am in child-land.  I haven't watched the news in quite some time (mainly because my television only plays Jake and the Neverland Pirates-or so I'm told by my 4 year old), but as I was reading, "Five Little Monkeys" today (for the 9th time), I felt empathy for the mother monkey and I legitimately thought to myself, Wow, I hope she has good health care insurance because she made five calls to her doctor in one day- and after hours at that.  Poor lady.  Why am I worried about current health care policies for a fictitious mamma monkey, but am completely uninformed on what is going on in the world of politics in relation to Health Care (for real people)? I think my mind is yearning for adult interaction, or enjoys being blissfully ignorant. :)

As I’m writing this, my child is watching Woody the Woodpecker in the other room and I can hear him trying to imitate woody the woodpecker. And it sounds like a seal...dying...twice.  Wow.  He’s really going to be living with me forever and I’m never going to need to use big words again.