So I'm almost a year into doing daycare and I have learned one
thing: my child can sometimes be the most difficult child. The biggest
challenge of my day is when parents pick up their kiddos at the end of the day,
for no other reason than I don't know what is going to come out of my child's
mouth or what he is going to do when other parents are here. And of
course the last thing you want is for a parent, who is essentially letting you
help raise their child, questioning your parenting style, because your own
child is, let’s say, quirky. Let me share a few examples of my
humiliation with you...
-So a couple of weeks ago, we were playing outside when parents
picked up. All was going well until I was chatting with the last parent of the
day. My backyard is fenced in and very child proofed so I let my own four year
old wander the yard (kind of like a cow in a pasture). Unfortunately, instead
of wandering, he chose to hang by my side. In the middle of my conversation
with this parent, Chase said, "I put rabbit poop in your pocket." I
didn't believe it so I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out its contents.
And sure as shit, I pulled out: a bead, a penny, a Cheerio and a rabbit turd.
Of course my child burst into laughter, grabbed the Cheerio and plopped it into
his mouth as he scampered off. (I would like to say into the sunset, but I'm
sure he was just off to find more bunny poop and contaminated Cheerios.) There
are a couple things wrong with this; 1. My child has no issue playing in animal
feces. 2. How did I not notice poop going into my pocket? (Any
who, let’s not dwell on that latter of the two).
-The other day during pick up time my child was stacking books. I
felt a sense of relief that he had chosen a "safe" activity to play
with while others were in my house. You know, safe from my humiliation. Well
apparently, my child can make even the safest activities crude. As he stacked
the last book, he felt the need to yell to me, "Mom, the books are stacked
higher than my penis." I'm glad he is learning the concept of measuring,
but for goodness sake, please use a ruler, not your penis and do it after all
of the daycare parents leave.
-And lastly, last Friday while a parent was in my entryway, Chase
ran past the entryway wearing a potty chair around his knees, as if trying to
use it as a hula hoop. All I could do was laugh (and hope they still came back
on Monday morning.)
On a side
note: Our family went to the Wisconsin Dells this past weekend so of course our
weekend was full with car rides and snacks. During one outing I was
sandwiched in the back seat of my parents’ vehicle between my nephew’s car seat
and Chase’s car seat. Chase and my nephew were sharing jelly
beans. Chase handed me a jelly bean and I plopped it into my mouth,
thinking my young lad was just trying to share and be kind. Wrong! After I was
midway through chewing the popcorn flavored jelly bean, which was disgusting
enough on its own, Chase yells, “I stuck that up my nose first!” Of
course I continued eating it. But where, oh where is he learning to
be a gross boy?
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| So this is what happens when my child asks me for tape, markers and Popsicle sticks. I'll know better next time. |
