Our family attended church last night. Which isn’t out of the ordinary but is always touch and go with Ryder. Mainly because he has so many words and it’s hard for him to not share those many words with everyone around him. All of the time. And he enjoys his words even more when his audience is quiet. So, in other words, church is his target audience.
As we walk into church Ryder announced, “I have a pocket full of fruit snacks. I’m going to eat one every 20 minutes to waste time. But I ate most of them in the car already.”
Ryder as the priest welcomes everyone, “I’m already so lost.”
Anyone who has been to a Catholic mass knows that we do a lot of stand up, sit down, and kneel, over and over again until you feel like you have trained for a marathon, sometimes you’re just as sweaty. Ryder as we stood up, “I really just wanted to keep sitting.” As we knelt down, “Again with the kneeling?”
Ryder as he looked at my watch with a disappointed face, “For real? It’s only been 3 minutes since I looked last time?”
When the priest asked a rhetorical question during the homily that Ryder assumed was asked personally to him and answered out loud, “I don’t know. I wasn’t even paying attention.”
Then, to our surprise, at the end of church there was a bonus quiet prayer time to which Ryder loudly announced in a room full of nothing but silence, “God wants us to leave now.”
When I got into the car after mass I had a terrible realization, “Oh, sh*t, I’m raising my inner dialogue.”
