On This Episode of Raising Ryder.... Preschool Lunch

I often sit back and laugh at the fact that I thought Chase was my most vocally embarrassing child. I was such a fool...

A couple of weeks ago (you know before all of the craziness that is life now), I had the opportunity to go to lunch at Ryder’s Preschool.  It was entertaining to say the least.

During lunch, all of the kids were sitting nicely at the miniature tables in their cute little chairs with their hands folded as they all said a mealtime prayer in unison. At one little table there was a spot saved for me right next to my second born son, the apple of my eye, Ryder Jaymeson. (I’m pretty sure that if I keep referring to Ryder with sweet terms of endearment, it will somehow convince people that he is sweet.  You know, like how if you repeat things 3 times, you are more likely to remember it.)  Ryder was so excited to have me there and kept sharing his hot lunch with me.   

Partway through lunch Ryder started introducing me to the other little tots at the table. (Please note: I have changed the names of the children.) Ryder starts at one end of the table and points to a cute little girl and says, “That’s Emma, the one who cries every day because she (insert Ryder doing air quotes) ‘Misses her Mommy.’” The little girl shrugs her shoulders if as reinforcing Ryder’s description of her.

I brush the comment off because the little girl didn’t seem to mind being described this way; a lover of her mother.   

Ryder then goes onto the next little girl, “And that is Susan.  She is the “budgy one” because she always budges in line.” He then looks this child directly in the eyes and whispers to her, “And it’s rude.”   

At this point there were still 2 more friends for Ryder to introduce me to and I was starting to get nervous as to what new describing words he could come up with for the remainder of his friends (I use the term “friends” loosely as I feel Ryder may not have many friends in the near future.) so I quietly said, “Ryder stop.” To which he replied, “That’s what she said.”

It was then that I knew lunchtime was over.  I grabbed my lunch bag and skedaddled out of there, praising the good Lord that I got to go back to work.  

I wonder how Ryder’s friends would describe him to their parents at mealtime? Maybe something like, “Ryder, the one who steals small toys from school and sneaks them home in his socks.” Or “Ryder, the one no one wants to play with because he verbally assaults those around him." Or "Ryder, the one who spends most of his life in costume and feels he is superior to any other, living, breathing, mammal." 

Who knows. 

Any who, he loves Preschool and anyone who works with children like Ryder have a special spot saved for them in Heaven.     

Ryder, at Preschool, enjoying the day away.